Easter has always been an interesting day for me, to say the least. I'm never entirely sure how to feel. Don't get me wrong, I will always be excited because of the risen Christ our Lord, but I for one, have a tendency to get so bogged down in Good Friday that sometimes it is difficult for me to rejoice in the fulfilment of my salvation. Realizing the enormity of Christ's sacrifice in relation to the enormity of my sin . . . I cannot fathom the grace that is given me. How underserving am I of his love? How pure and blameless the lamb that was slain for a dirty, ungrateful soul like me! My unworthiness, my sin, my iniquities cry out in the depths of my soul along with the Sanhedrin "CRUCIFY HIM!!" And yet Christ still dies in my stead? Now, these are not wrong things to feel; in fact, one of the biggest problems with modern Christianity is that most believers never come to this point. Without a realization of one's own depravity, the realization of Salvation does not seem like that big of a deal. But what is wrong with my situation, and with many others I have discussed this with, is that on Easter morning, instead of rejoicing in the resurrection, all I can see is my own unworthiness.
This is NOT the right response!! Christ did not die in order that we might feel guilty and undeserving for all eternity, he died that we might live!!!!! There is a time and a place for introspection, for the realization of sin and our need for the blood of Christ, but that is not the final realization we should come to. I think there comes a point where one needs to move from this place of despair to a place of Joy and Gratitude for the amazing grace we have been given.
That is what these past two days have taught me . . . that it is okay to be happy. We need not navel gaze our lives away. It is okay to enjoy a game of volleyball, to run across creeks in the only pair of pants you brought with you, to eat good food with good friends, to stop driving for the sole purpose of frolicking in a field to your hearts content, to try on silly clothes in vintage stores, to sing and make music into the night with people you hardly know, to sit on a dock and look at the stars with someone who is close to your heart, to have JOY in life!
And perhaps even to find joy in writing a term paper, or reading a philosopher who is way over your head . . . which I must go do now. Thank you Josh for the companionship and excitement, be it jumping around in grass or chopping down trees with swords, Dave for the music and the insight, Anna for your quiet diginity in putting up with three crazy boys in a small car, and Morielle for your passion and the light you bring to my life and wherever you walk.
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5 comments:
Gamgee, that's me.
And I thank you Phil, for the man you are, that you let the rest of us walk with you.
Phil,
This post makes me happy for two reasons.
First because you just described the spiritual battle I have been most passionate about for the past year.
and second because God gave you the grace to be joyful. =)
I need to read your blog more often. It reveals such a different side of you. Thank you for being so solid--and thank God!
Dave
phil -
yay for you posting.
i've always had the opposite struggle, and have gone the way of the church today, as you noted: i am so secure in God's grace that i forget it's cost.
it's good to be reminded of the other side of the equasion: there is no easter sunday without good friday, but it sure wouldn't have been a good friday if that sunday morning hadn't followed!
glad you had a happy easter with your friends. :)
Phil, I was experienced the same problem this year. It's often easy to forget that we have been made righteous in God's eyes. “He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him” (2 Corinthians 5:21). We often get stuck on the first half of the verse, I think, forgetting that we have a cause for amazing joy: reconciliation with God, and everlasting life.
I'm so glad that you had fun! Thanks for driving the _entire_ time. And thanks for being the amazingly insightful Philip Glenn that we all know and love.
And I would like to say that I would willingly volunteer to "put up with" these same three crazy boys again. So when's the next adventure?
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