*DISCLAIMER: This next post consists of nothing but word vomit. Sadly, all vomit needs to be expelled sometime, so here goes . . .
"Man is a vast deep, whose hairs you, Lord, have numbered, and in you none can be lost. Yet it is easier to count his hairs than the passions and emotions of his heart"
-St. Augustine, Confessions
I'm trying not to make this sound like I'm complaining, but whenever anyone tries to scribble down their tangled thoughts on this subject it ends up sounding like it. So just to clarify: this is not a pity party. This is me laughing at myself. Sometimes I think there is a bright red stamp on my forehead that reads "I'm that nice guy that you will never think of seriously in a romantic way." People always say that someday, someone will come along who can look me in the eye and truthfully say they aren't settling for me, and then we can ride off into the sunset with James Taylor playing in the backgrond. The problem is that it's all a bunch of talk. Thus far, nothing in my experience in that area of life has even hinted at the possiblity of that happening. The human heart is a very very very interesting thing. I know that I don't need a girl in my life to make me happy, I do. I know that the only place for me to find the true rest that my soul is longing for is within the Lord God almighty who makes all things new according to his good pleasure. But while I am content and satisfied in that truth, some nights I just feel unspeakably lonely. I don't know what its like to be wanted, to be needed by another person. It sounds kind of selfish, but it is something that is common to all of us because we all are human. This feeling will probably by gone by the time I wake up for class, but let the records show that I, Philip Glenn, being of sound mind and character, would like that someday to come a bit sooner.
Vomiting terminated, and now back to our regularly scheduled programming . . .
2 comments:
I hear you Phil. And I acknowledge both the feeling and the need. What I was saying was just this: you have the most amazing potential of any man I've seen in Torrey or Biola. Those of us foolish enough to try and find that perfect someone at the wrong time and push through for the end goal now are just fools who don't see the end game.
But that doesn't mean you shouldn't feel like that. I'm not insulting your feelings, they're right. You should want that. All I'm saying is wait, and you will come out so far ahead in the end... oh Phil, you will do just fine.
A wife is a man's crowning glory, and you Phil, are royalty.
Don't worry, Phil. I mean, hey, I feel the same way, and you have much more of a chance than I do... Oh, and BTW, feathers don't work. I tried.
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